I will be “teaching” a master class called Memoir: Balancing Life’s Ups and Downs that will deal with pacing and humor in writing at the Greenwich Arts Council in association with Just Books in Greenwich, CT. Thursday, April 23rd  from 10:00 am -12:00 pm.

It’s a Master Class so expect to see me wearing a cap and gown and a monocle. I am actually really looking forward to this — I think it will be fun and educational!  (wink!)  There will be HANDOUTS!

Click her for the info, please please come!

Here’s the reason I haven’t been posting –because between Goodreads and Facebook I just have too many places to update!

I am a parent of a child who sees nothing wrong with cookies for breakfast. At least once a day I say, “Cookies aren’t a breakfast food! “ Isn’t that terrible? I hate hearing myself saying it, but we just got back from a vacation with my brother Matt and he makes his daughter Pixie eat real meals while Violet is Snacky Girl. So now I’m cracking down. The question of why cookies aren’t for breakfast is plaguing me like so many dumb things I think about. Why are pancakes in syrup or muffins (aka cake) breakfast food? I don’t know, Violet, I don’t make the rules.

A few days ago I mentioned to her that at school last year she ate normal cereal for breakfast and how about we get that? She agreed, but didn’t know the name of any of the cereals so I did artists rendering of the cereals I could draw: Crispix, Corn Flakes, Cheerios, Raisin Bran and she’d point and say, “Yes, that looks like the one!” I’m not really an artist though so when I brought them home they were just plain wrong.

It made me think of what pressure police artists are under and how every police sketch on the news looks the same to me (I can picture him right now) and then it made me think about how cops are known for eating donuts (at least on the cultural barometer of The Simpsons). And donuts are about the junkiest think you can eat and are a totally accepted breakfast food. So now I’m starting to wonder, why not cookies?

So we’re here in Beverly Hills. Paul and I walked around Rodeo Drive today, what a bunch of crap stores! Jeez! Who shops in Versace and Gucci and Dior and Chanel and Hermes? Crazy people, that’s who! There wasn’t one place we could walk into –oh except Jamba Juice. In all seriousness, I feel like a whitefish out of water. I miss the time in my life where getting a tan was an important and tangible goal. I remember walking around when I was too pained to tan trying to get my hair highlighted by the sun. I was actually sitting by the pool today in jeans with a towel over my head. I’ve become my dad.

The Hollywood thing, though, never gets old. Driving by the studios and seeing the big gates and the ads for the movies. I love it. I love movies and stars and if my husband wasn’t so cool I’d be at Mann’s Chinese Theater right now putting my hands in Mary Pickford’s hand prints and lunching at the Brown Derby. My aunt Mattie gave me a tip –she said go to the hotel bar and order a martooni and then give the glad eye to the movie stars.

Aside from that I am so excited about my LA reading because I’m going to see a lot of people I miss and meet a lot of people I’ve really longed to know. And I hope you’ll be there, too! (Not you, YOU!)

For top secret reasons, the Washington reading is canceled. I can’t really say more at this time but certain book stores are not my friend any more.

On a brighter note, the Tribeca reading was one of the nicest nights of my life! Thanks to everyone for turning out — especially the people who didn’t know me, that was the part I couldn’t believe.

This blog keeps telling me to upload a picture so I can have an avatar. I really want an avatar because it doesn’t cost anything. So everytime I upload a picture it tells me there’s some error so I DON’T GET THE AVATAR. If anyone has an avatar they want to give me, I’d really like one. Preferably with automatic steering.

Sorry guys, it turns out many of my guest bloggers were dead.  Next time, I promise I’ll double check that.

Peace.