Fast jede Frau had es schon mal erlebt: Sie lernt einen tollen Mann kennen, er scheint hervorragend su ihr zu passen – nur im Bet lauft es irgendwier schief.

(Translation: My sex story is in German glamour this month).

Here is my tour thus far:

March 27 NYC: Barnes and Noble Tribeca
March 30 Stamford, CT: Borders
March 31: Washington, D.C: Olsson’s Books and Records
April 1: Miami: Books and Books
April 2: Chicago: Bookstall -The Standard Club
April 3: San Francisco: Books, Inc.
April 8: Los Angeles: Barnes & Noble Santa Monica
April 11: Vermont: Northshire Bookstore
Do you want to know what a wreck I am about leaving my kid? Don’t ask!

I went to Costco yesterday, the purchase I am most happy with is….  my 4 pack of Halls lozenges.   I feel like I have a scratchy throat all the time. My goal is to be one of those people who smells like menthol.

I have a story in there, people who’ve read this issue of Glamour have said it’s a “must read!” And “Run, don’t walk to you local grocery check-out line.”  The interesting thing about this issue is Jennifer Garner is on the cover and she’s the one who copied me and named her kid Violet when I already HAD A KID NAMED VIOLET. Lucky for her, she married someone named Ben not Paul or she might be getting a visit from Mr. Jacoby and Myers.

This blog keeps telling me to upload a picture so I can have an avatar. I really want an avatar because it doesn’t cost anything. So everytime I upload a picture it tells me there’s some error so I DON’T GET THE AVATAR. If anyone has an avatar they want to give me, I’d really like one. Preferably with automatic steering.

My mom was here for a few days. This morning she dropped a $20 bill on the floor, good thing she’s almost 70 because I beat her to that pick-up. Finders keepers, losers weepers.