Fast jede Frau had es schon mal erlebt: Sie lernt einen tollen Mann kennen, er scheint hervorragend su ihr zu passen – nur im Bet lauft es irgendwier schief.

(Translation: My sex story is in German glamour this month).

I went to Costco yesterday, the purchase I am most happy with is….  my 4 pack of Halls lozenges.   I feel like I have a scratchy throat all the time. My goal is to be one of those people who smells like menthol.

I have a story in there, people who’ve read this issue of Glamour have said it’s a “must read!” And “Run, don’t walk to you local grocery check-out line.”  The interesting thing about this issue is Jennifer Garner is on the cover and she’s the one who copied me and named her kid Violet when I already HAD A KID NAMED VIOLET. Lucky for her, she married someone named Ben not Paul or she might be getting a visit from Mr. Jacoby and Myers.

My mom was here for a few days. This morning she dropped a $20 bill on the floor, good thing she’s almost 70 because I beat her to that pick-up. Finders keepers, losers weepers.