Affairs of the Schedule   4 comments

I recently heard about a friend of a friend who was having an affair.  A really major hotsy-totsy, bed and breakfasts, Cancun beaches and Calypos cover-ups affair. I’ve been obsessing over this woman that I’ve never met.  I just keep thinking, “How on God’s green earth does a married woman with three kids in school and dogs and laundry have the time for an affair?”

The way I see it, even if I wanted to have an affair, which I DO NOT, I simply couldn’t fit it into my schedule (my husband was filled with glee when I told him this).  I am jiggidy-jam-packed with kid/dogs/gym/household/facebook/school trips/work/food-prep.  I was up in the middle of the night last night going through my day and thinking, Okay if someone put a gun to my head and said, “You’re going to have an affair with me,” the best I could do was give them the third Wednesday of the month from 11:45 -12:10 and I would be eating my Balance bar for part of that because it would cut into my lunch time. So if they still wanted me with mouth-full and chocolatey teeth, I guess I could do it. But I would need to stop for a bottle of water.

I’d really rather not, though. I don’t like deception, I am not crazy about strangers, I adore my husband and I just think if I had an extra twenty-five minutes in the third Wednesday of the month I could find a better use of that time.  Like thinking up a project to do with K-Fed.


Posted March 13, 2009 by julieklam in Noodling

4 responses to “Affairs of the Schedule

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  1. This is hysterical. Thanks for writing it. That’s all I have to offer today.

  2. Did you just write this so your husband would read it and let you keep all 4 dogs?

  3. Also, if I had an affair, which I don’t want to because I like Consort very much and I have no spare time, I’d have to shave more carefully.

  4. Yes, Quinn! Love means rarely having to shave the difficult to reach spots.

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