Parental Sacrifice   3 comments

The other day, Violet picked out a Barbie activity set at Costco–her present to celebrate Tuesday. It included stickers, a dvd of Barbie movie trailers, and a “book.”

Barbie Magical Moments Storybook is so bad it makes me feel like I’m committing child abuse. It’s the literary equivalent of feeding your child pixie sticks, bubble gum cigarettes and Pepsi. I’ve read it now about 50 times. The “illustrations” are computer animated stills from the fine Barbie “movies” and the “stories” are novelizations of these cinematic gems.

Today I was reading Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses, in which Barbie portrays “Genevieve” the prettiest of a dozen princess sisters and that’s really all you need to know about the plot. On the second page of the story, two consecutive paragraphs begin with the words “That night,” and then the following two paragraphs start “Back at the castle.” I was rapping it, “THAT NIGHT, THAT NIGHT, BACK AT THE CASTLE, BACK AT THE CASTLE!” Call me Michiko, but can’t they find an editor? I mean they’ve got Barbie’s money behind them, they should be able to hire Jonathan Galassi. I just hate the idea that Violet’s going to grow up thinking not varying the start of paragraphs is okay. I’m getting off my high horse now.

If you see my brain anywhere, please email it back to me.

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Posted July 24, 2008 by julieklam in Summer '08

3 responses to “Parental Sacrifice

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  1. Now i know who Jonathan Galassi is. Thanks Jul. :-]

  2. That’s why I’m here. To educate.

  3. This is hilarious.

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